No ones reading this. And i'm quite glad; at the moment i'm going through some things, small things but still there.
I'm listening to music more, well actually reciting songs in my head, songs that mean something. and nothing.
Its weird not knowing yourself, theres no rules, nothing and you can be who you want to be, no reason not too? But you only ever hold yourself back, no one else holds you, just you.
I dont want to be me anymore i want to be better. but not competition better nothing on anyone else, i want to be better in the sense that i want to be true to myself; true to how i feel, why i feel; how.
They fuck you up- its not just parents its everyone, everyone has an opinion of who you are, and your the only one who projects that. I want to be the me i am in my head. But i'm scared to be; who isnt.
I'm 20 years old, and know two little babies better than i know myself; thats not right (its right in the sense i'm a mum, thats my job, the most important no doubt about it) but i need to know me. I'll always know them. If it wasnt for them, i wouldnt care about me.
I'm not saying anything really, i'm not even unhappy, just a bit confused, feeling a bit creative.
I need to channel this. Its going to waste.
(haha not that. thats drivel. but there is something in me.)
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